TRYOUT SEASON: Navigating the Madness as a Parent

It's that time of the year again, when your social media is filled with club promotions, the latest "buzz" words and promises of the holy grail of youth soccer if you only come to play for club x,y, or z.

With full transparency, I do run one of the most successful youth female programs in the country, but the design for this post is not to promote that at all. It gives me a unique insight having run top level programs in multiple states, but this is not an advertisement and thus I will not mention the club/program.

UNDERSTANDING YOUR "WHY"

Whether you are just beginning the journey with your young child, or growing through the game, it is important to understand why you are doing what you are doing. What is the motivation for the soccer related choices you are thinking of making?

Understanding the talent & motivation level of your child are of chief importance to any decision you are thinking about. The majority (and I am talking 98% of players) of kids simply want to play for fun, it is an activity vs a passion. And that is awesome, if your child falls into this category, embrace it, it may change over time, but let them LOVE the game first.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with not being on the "top" team at a club or organization. The societal stigma that you are somehow a failure if you/your child are not on the very top team in the top program is toxic, and has to be addressed and ended. I hope you will chose to be a part of the solution vs the problem.

Again, what is your why? If your child is playing for fun? Awesome... find the best, most convenient and fun solution for that. Make it fit your life, vs your life fit it, you will avoid headaches, arguments, and pulling your own hair out.

Is your child showing some real talent and has the motivation to do more? Awesome, again find the best (and read on for more insight and things to consider).

THE IMPORTANCE (OR NOT) OF A LEAGUE

One of the biggest narratives you will find in spoken word, print & online marketing is the alphabet soup of leagues that clubs can be a part of. Just naming a few can leave you lost as you try to discern between Girls Academy, ECNL, MLS Next, National League, ECRL, NPL, the list can go on.

One of the biggest RED Flags you will come across when doing your research is clubs who advertise mainly about the league their teams play in instead of what the club does on a day to day basis.

So then the ultimate questions of, is one league better than the other? Are they really important?

Are the top leagues important? Yes and No. Clear as mud right?! To the top 5% of players in the country, it is important, why? The top 1% is differentiated for this blog by the following definition:

"The players who have the talent level, desire and motivation to play at the collegiate, youth national team, and/or professional environments. The sport is a passion vs a hobby"

%2-5 fall into the category (again for the purposes of this blog only) as those who the sport may fall into more of something that fits into their life, vs their life fits into the sport but have the talent to continue to play in high school or beyond. Again, this is no problem at all, but it is important to understand where you/your child stand.

Why? The higher the talent level, paired with motivation the greater opportunity. For the very top players, THIS is where the leagues become important. On the girls side, GA & ECNL. On the boys side MLS Next & ECNL. They provide the most crucial aspects:

1. A larger collection of "top" clubs who typically provide quality in multiple age groups

2. Typically higher level of coaching, professionalism, and best practices

3. Showcases with the highest volume of college coaches (D1, D2, D3, NAIA, JUCO) to provide the best exposure opportunities

4. Direct exposure to Youth National team coaches and scouts

Does this mean the best teams in each age are in any one league? Not at all, in the current landscape they are spread out over multiple leagues unfortunately. The reality is this is what we are dealing with, and as long as it remains this way, we have to navigate it the best we can.

EVERY league has good, average, and lower end. It is simply the reality of it.

Now that we have an idea of what leagues can provide, why are they maybe not as important?

Again, this is focused on a certain % of players, but it is an important piece. Everyone has seen club advertisements that focus on "we have (insert league name here)", come on in.

BUT.... and it is an important BUT. What does the club do every single day? A league is a piece of the programming, and if it's presented otherwise that needs serious consideration of why?

For the very top end (again, for this blog defined as the players who have the talent, motivation and desire) some considerations to look at:

• Does the club have a defined style of play? Do their teams seek play the same way regardless of age.

• Do teams/performance/commitment look different based on who is the coach (hint.. red flag)? or is it the same throughout the program?

• How often does the team train?

• What does the training look like?

• What does the program look like in the slower months (winter in the mid-west)

• Do they offer year round programming?

• What is the clubs actual track record of placing players in college, youth national teams and beyond? Especially in the recent past (last 18 months)?

• Community Service projects & opportunities

• Does the club provide other programming, some but not all could include:

  • Strength & Conditioning

  • Injury Prevention programming

  • Periodized training

  • Daily Wellness

  • Nutrition

  • Mental Health Programming

  • Leadership Development

We often don't think of them, but if the above boxes are being checked, some of the most important things to consider who will be helping shape your teenage player, are the following:

• Go unannounced and watch a training session (off to the side), take note of the following

  • How does the coach/director interact with the players?

  • Is the coach into the session, or is it being winged and they spend most of their time on the phone/socializing?

  • Are the players focused? Enjoying it?

  • Do they appear happy to be there? Can they tell the coach cares or are they afraid of them?

All too often now, players are treated in an "old school" way, where leading out of fear and not caring about the mental impact on people is considered okay. It isn't, and people will not learn until they lose players over it, regardless of their reputation, status, or promises.

WHAT MAKES A CLUB?

If you are still with me and have read everything so far, I am guessing you are getting an idea of what this looks like.

A lot of "clubs" are merely collections of individual teams. That can be fine if you fit into the matrix correctly and get lucky with the right coach. But what happens when that coach moves on? Is the clubs structure setup that the programming will be beneficial to your son or daughter regardless?

When looking at a club as a potential option, it is important to really take the time to dive into your why, understand your Childs motivation level and be okay with it.

The higher you go, the less likely that they can be a "normal, everyday teenager". With special talent, comes special opportunity, however that becomes wasted if the work is not put in. Extra hours on the field, late nights of finishing homework, truly loving the game, and being okay with giving up certain typical social activities including partying, missing the occasional dance, amongst others. This may sound good to you, but is it what your kid wants?

There is no replacement or secret recipe that does not involve relentless, hard work & love of the sport. You will hate the work quite often, but the result is what makes it all worth it. You have to be willing to embrace the journey, every part of it, and be all in. If you aren't, it is going to lead to regret, heartbreak, and burn out.

SO WHAT IF THESE PROGRAMS AREN'T IN MY AREA?

One of the immense challenges in the United States is the simple geography. Each state is like its own country in the rest of the world, and it presents great opportunity but also great challenge.

If your area does not have a program that matches your talent level + motivation, does it mean you are screwed? No. Does it mean your journey is going to be harder? Yes.

There are tons of stories of players coming from the tiniest of towns (google Clint Dempseys story, you will be blown away).

In todays era, you get the advantage of social media, the internet and you need to leverage it:

• Highlight videos

• Game film

• ID Camps

• Volunteer to be a guest player at college recruiting showcases (Jefferson Cup, Las Vegas Mayors Cup, Surf Cup, etc)

Where there is a will, there is a way, find solutions and reach out to those who can help provide honest answers.

WE JUST CAN'T AFFORD IT

Another one of the US's biggest challenges, the financial model of youth sports. I am not going to get into a Pay to Play debate. At the end of the day EVERY sport, in EVERY country is pay to play, it is just a question of who is footing the bill (a pro club, a community, or the parents).

The majority of clubs allocate significant finances to scholarship funds for need based players. Reach out to clubs and let them know about your situation, if they are in it for the right reasons they will do what they can to help.

Many teams also do fundraising to help parents offset the crazy expenses associated with travel soccer, again do everything you can to find solutions.

I hope this has been something of value to you, if so, let me know, if not, hey I tried. The tryout season can be stressful, try to take the emotion out of it as much as possible and really understand why you and your child are in this special sport. I wish everyone the absolute best as they seek to find their best fit.